City Clerk Britoni Walrus
Ancient and modern history have taught us all lessons which we should learn from. There has always been a point in nearly any historical event where mistreated, diminished, or beaten groups of individuals join together to effect an escape from a demoralized tyranny. Corrupt governments are found throughout many historical timelines, and the City Government of Muscle Shoals is a prime example. Corrupt officials, corrupt policies, and Nepotistic Promotional advancements are running this city into a literal wasteland.
A little background:
Several top-tier full time employees leave Muscle Shoals to cross the river in search of brighter career paths. Their whistleblowing insights have allowed us to formulate the perfect weapon to destroy this “Muscle Shoals Monster”. Let’s start from the ground up, showcasing how small “negligent” decisions can lead us all the way to the source of this evil...”Nepotism.”
Nepotism defines as “the practice among those with power or influence of favoring relatives, friends, or associates, especially by giving them jobs.” Nearly 25 years ago, “Flimsy” a.k.a Butch Fleming, was given the job as Public Works Director because of who his father was. Sol Fleming as we all know, was an excellent man with deep ties in the Muscle Shoals community. This one tiny nepotistic decision made by the Muscle Shoals City Council 25 years ago, would eventually lead to Butch carrying over his “Nepotistic Ideology” into the early years of the 21st century.
With all that being said, “Daddy’s Boy #1” was born. Then comes along "Tipsy, Daddy’s Boy #2” a.k.a Ryan Kennedy (Assistant Public Works Director) who was also brought into the family around 2006. Ryan’s wife is also a nurse in the Muscle Shoals school system. His father, Greg Kennedy served as the Assistant Fire Chief at that time. Sources tell us that Greg purchased a Quiznos Dinner for each civil service board member the night Ryan was hired by the City. Ryan earned his nickname because he loves to drink and drive in his City truck. We have had multiple people reach out to us concerning this issue. Don’t worry Tipsy, you’re being watched very closely. Talk about disgusting.
Moving on to “Daddy’s Boy #3”, Isaac Springer. Mr. Springer is a firefighter for Muscle Shoals, who was charged with domestic violence a few weeks ago. Can you guess how he got his job?…He is dating the daughter of Daddy's Boy #1! How ironic! Are you beginning to see a trend now? All jokes aside, we do hope that his daughter is okay
“Daddy’s Boy #4” Zach Pate. Zach was hired as a firefighter for Muscle Shoals just a few years ago. His father has been employed with the city for nearly 25 years and drives garbage truck #50. He is the one who dumps the 8 cans behind the locked gates at the wastewater treatment plant, which are completely full of human excrement. Each garbage can will hold approximately 96 gallons of fluid, so that means he picks up 768 gallons of human excrement in one round.
Garbage trucks are designed to pick up mostly solid waste, not liquid waste. So every time he turns a corner, stops, accelerates, etc the liquid finds its way out of every nook, cranny, and crevice onto our city sidewalks and streets. And since Tipsy and Flimys are daddy’s boys, they aren’t big on “preventative maintenance.” They definitely won’t push the already lazy Jo-Jo Campbell (Sanitation Dept Supervisor) to fix any issues. So the rubber seals all around the truck are not taken care of, thus spilling more and more sewage along public right of ways on a weekly basis. So if any resident walks their dog on a daily basis, I wouldn’t dare let them lick any wet spot on any road/sidewalk in Muscle Shoals, as they may be indulging in human excrement.
“Daddy’s boy #5”, Brad Whitehead's dad was leader at the electrical department for many years. #5's wife wife is also a school teacher in the Muscle Shoals school system. “Daddy’s Boys #6, and #7”, brothers Brady(Heavy equipment operator) and Casey Ledlow (Retention Pond Maintenance Technician) were sure to get their jobs since their dad worked for the public works department for many years.
Going off topic for a second, we had several reports sent to us concerning a house on Virginia Ave, in Jackson heights subdivision. During the last pass of tornadoes, there was a large tree on an empty vacant lot, adjacent to this particular house. The wind pushed over the tree onto another homeowners lot, then the homeowner cut the tree up by himself, and dragged every piece of it to the curb in front of his house. Seeing that it originated from the empty lot, the brush truck bypassed the large curbside pile to have it investigated for “contractor suspicion”.
After further investigation, Lockhard directed the two lazy city employees to not pick up the pile because the tree did not “come from” the lot owned by the homeowner. What a disgrace…The other brush truck probably was too busy dealing with “Football and basketball gambling boards”, as the operator loves to run an illegal gambling ring as a side hustle. I’m sure “Detective Wig Wags, a.k.a Kevin Williams” is proud of his crew. And if you do decide to call the department, Flimsy’s new receptionist will greet you with nothing but uneducated “Ummmmmms” and “Well I don’t Knows”, as she babbles on the phone.
As you can see it doesn’t matter if you're a daddy’s boy, a friend/family member to the city council, civil service board, or a relative to any muscle shoals employee, Lockhard will always stick to his nepotistic ideology…protecting his “buddies” on the account that his name be protected at all times, even if it’s not morally right.
Also, we have been given word that there is one laborer who is employed under Flimsy who has a real special gig going on. The favored laborer is being paid MORE THAN ALL POLICEMEN and street department CLASS A CDL DRIVERS. It could have something to do with his mother having been the “gal friday” or “Britoni Walrus” to Lockhard when he supervised housekeeping at Hellen Keller Hospital. Quite suspicious how the laborer managed to get all these mysterious raises over the years, only to exceed every Class A CDL driver, and Policemen in pay.
The list could go on and on if we decided to include other family relations, but we will just stick to “Daddy’s Boys”. So if anyone in the public wants to apply to an “open house career” with the City of Muscle Shoals, they better check their family tree first. Clearly, Muscle Shoals needs a new mayor. Under the Tyranny of evil Mike Lockhard and Brittoni Waltrus, we will most definitely see Muscle Shoals’s reputation end up being carried away in a 96 gallon garbage bin.
From the Union of Disgruntled Muscle Shoals Employees