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Youthful Offender? Boggus - Yes; Johnson - No

May 6, 2019, 9:00 pm
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Above is Ryan Tolliver Johnson. He was 19 in 2017 when he wrecked a UTV, killing one person and seriously injuring a second.



Above is Kathleen Emma Boggus. She was 16 in 2018 when she wrecked a passenger car, killing three people and seriously injuring one more.

Boggus was recently given youthful offender status for her criminal trial; Johnson was not. What were the differences? Below we'll compare the two in various areas. Boggus' data will appear first; Johnson's second.

Gender:

Female, Male

Age at time of Accident:

16, 19

Dead:

Three, One

Illegal Passengers:

Three, Three

Intoxicated:

No, Yes

Illegal Operating Area:

No, Yes (immediately before accident)

Unauthorized Vehicle Use:

No, Yes

Disregard for Passenger Safety Requests:

Yes, No (As far as is known)

Judge/Jurisdiction:

Self - Lauderdale County, Self - Lauderdale County

There you have the basics. Some readers have suggested shady goings on; however, there are enough differences in the two cases to present a very large gap in the degree of guilt each driver should shoulder. Does that mean we believe Judge Self made the correct ruling regarding Kate Boggus? All we can say is that we're glad we didn't have to make that decision ourselves.



In Order to Feel Remorse, One Must First Possess a Conscience

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All in the FaMily (or Incest is Best?)

May 7, 2019, 9:00 pm
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From an astute observer:

Muscle Shoals - all in the FaMily or incest is best? That may be a better slogan for the school system that puts nepotism to a new level. Not only do we hear that Denise Woods has been changing the job description of a position to tailor it for her sister, but now we have also heard that positions are being created to open a spot for the fired Balentine’s step-son. 

Whatever happened to hiring the best person for the job? I guess for Brian Lindsey’s good-ole-boy run system that wouldn’t work. How many GOB’s does it take to RUIN a system? Well, just watch because Lindsey is going to show us all. 

How many times did he save Willingham’s job? Remember when Willingham was going to be fired from the middle school? Look how that turned out. He continued doing the same old same old. Teachers and the school counselor had to put up with Willingham sending lewd texts, being watched on the cameras, and being unfairly treated all because Lindsey wanted to keep it in the FaMily.

Maybe he should be the one to resign. They credit their school system for being the top in the state, but what the administrators don’t realize is that credit lies with the teachers, not them. These teachers could run a better school than all the administrators combined.


Positive Effects? Employees Can Complete Each Other's Sentences

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Meanwhile...at Constipation Landing

May 8, 2019, 9:00 pm
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Five months after the erection of the Inspiration Landing sign:



A reader wrote this description of the photo: 

What will this gateway to the Promised Land look like a month from now after those weeds have soaked up the spring rain? Not a teaspoon of dirt has been disturbed.

Does anyone actually know where the City of Sheffield stands with the USDA loan? The property was to have been conveyed to John Elkington as soon as the loan was approved and work began on the new entrance way to the development. That announcement was made by city leaders at the same time the above sign was placed on the property last December.

Doesn't anyone in Sheffield want to know the status of this development five months later? Or do the citizens of the City on the Bluff not care how their tax dollars are spent?


Look on the Bright Side: Sheffield Can Keep Its Signature Potholes

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An "Inspirational" Tale

May 9, 2019, 9:00 pm
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From a reader:

I don’t know how familiar you are with that specific area (Inspiration Landing). Elkington says that he wants the city to improve the appearance of the surrounding space before construction begins. 

Here are some facts about West 20th and that little stretch of the river: 

1. The wastewater plant is there. Emphasis on “waste”. It isn’t going anywhere. 

2. Tennessee Valley Recycling is right there also. It’s a large scrap metal yard. I don’t foresee it going anywhere any time soon either. 

3. Marshland. The reason this particular section of the river has never been developed is because it frequently floods. 

Ian Sanford’s father bought a very large parcel of land after he returned from WWII. He developed most of it into Rivermont-beautiful tree-lined streets and nice homes. The lots that lie directly on the river-the ones that couldn’t really be used for anything-make up part of Inspiration Landing. Ian’s elderly mother still owns it, and I honestly don’t believe that the Sanford family has ever thought that anything would come of that land. It’s not exactly prime real estate. Pretty? Yes. Practical? No.

On the flip side, if Florence owns a park (McFarland) complete with breathtakingly beautiful tourism center that has a 100 year flood every 20 years, perhaps John Elkington thinks Sheffield will (and did) jump at a development where the property floods during any substantial rainfall. Or perhaps the Memphis developer simply didn't realize that was a problem until he'd already, ummm, stepped in it?


Architect's Illustration of Inspiration Landing Shopping Area

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Will Ainsworth Again Embarrasses Our State

May 10, 2019, 9:00 pm
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How many important issues are facing our state? How is our legislature responding? Let's just say that unless you're terrified of plastic bag bans, your legislature hasn't attempted to do much for you this session. (Sen. Tim Melson and Rep. Andrew Sorrell excepted from that comment.)

Like a law so much that you want it on the books twice? This is the state for you! Are you a one-trick pony, but still want to wine and dine on the state's dime? Then you've come to the right place. 

That last comment is directed at Lt. Gov. Will Ainsworth. During his short political career, he's made it abundantly clear that he opposes induced abortions. So do many of us, but we would prefer to see them eradicated by means other than brute force.

This week, Ainsworth gavelled in a motion not to exclude pregnancies resulting from rape or incest from a state anti-abortion law. As one of his critics stated, if the state is going to make a 12 year old girl carry her rapist's baby to term, then those who are forcing her to do so should be willing to put their names to the law. 

If Ainsworth has taken a stand on any pressing issues this state is facing, we're unaware of it. We are aware of the headlines his drunken inaugural bash made in both state and national news. Yet if he runs again, he will almost certainly be elected a second time. After all, he's a Republican. 

Republicans: Making Independents of intelligent Alabamians for the past ten years...


Ainsworth Explaining How He Drunkenly Stole a Tiger Head in College

Alternate Caption: Tiger Explaining How He Heroically Escorted a College Drunk Back to His Campus

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Before You Hire Lawn & Garden Looters...

May 11, 2019, 9:00 pm
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There's nothing wrong with hiring others to do lawn work. There's certainly nothing wrong with ex-felons working at honest manual labor to support themselves. What is wrong, or at least not in your best interest, is blindly to hire a firm you know nothing about.

A reader who is also a casual acquaintance recently contacted us to relate how his property was accessed via a back gate, his garage entered, and both cars broken into. He was out thousands of dollars in damages and still isn't sure just how much his insurance will pay. Do the authorities have a suspect in mind for this crime? Yes. Our friend had recently contracted with a landscaping company to replace sod lost in recent flooding. Several young men had been in and out of his property for days, including entering his garage area. Authorities have said not to expect an arrest unless new evidence turns up.

How can you prevent this from happening to you? Obviously there's no 100% method to evaluate employees beforehand, but here are some obvious and not so obvious tips to stay safe:

1. Ask for references - not from just anyone, but from actual clients whom you can contact in some manner.

2. Ask if the the company is bonded.

3. Ask for the names of those who work for the company - as in who exactly will be on your property during the work.

Once you have a list of names, what do you do with it? Google is your ally in this matter. 

First, do a simple search for "John William Doe" Alabama. You might not turn up anything with such generic terms, but you might hit the jackpot.

Second, do a more specific local search. Key in: "Doe, John" Quad-Cities Daily Arrests. Not all local arrests are listed in this publication, but many are. Again, you might get lucky.

Third, if you have specific reason to distrust one or more employees of the company you've chosen, a simple AlaCourt search should tell you more about most individuals than you'd ever want to know. You can have a legal eagle friend search for you or visit the local courthouse yourself to have a go. Just be prepared for some super slow connections at the latter.

You might not care if a bank robber mows your lawn or a rapist/abuser prunes your Oak tree. No matter how much you do or don't care, you have a right to know. 



At Acme Lawn Care, We Give You the Full Treatment!

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Mother's Day 2019

May 12, 2019, 9:00 pm
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Perhaps you can't give your child all the material possessions you would like him or her to have. Perhaps you can't provide siblings. Perhaps you have to miss him in a ballgame or her in a school play.

While there may be many things you're not able to do for your child, the one thing you can always do is to give him your smile. Your son or daughter will carry that memory with them for life.

Here's hoping each of you has had a wonderful day full of love and joy.


All of Us at Shoalanda Speaks

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John W. Giles is "Pro-Life?" We're Still Laughing

May 13, 2019, 9:00 am
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John W. Giles is the former head of the "Christian Coalition." If he were the only example of a Christian that any thinking, caring person had ever seen, we're sadly afraid that believers would soon be extinct.

Giles is what he calls "pro-life." Here's a recent example of his stance on this issue, which is, of course, in reality "pro-birth."


Now, here's another recent example of Giles' opinions in which he wants the state to up the execution rate, among other horrors. 


After reading that second essay, anyone think Giles is really "pro-life?" How many think he's a sadistic piece of work? The choice isn't difficult.

Do the Right Thing. Do It for Someone You Loved.

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This Photo is Inappropriate? Really?

May 14, 2019, 9:00 pm
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If you've been on Facebook this week, you will have seen several debates about the proposed abortion ban in this state. We're actually surprised that there has been so much discussion of this proposed law since it will be struck down immediately; however, we have joined in one or two simply on the basis of the lack of a rape exception. Many seem to think if a woman is raped, she deserves whatever she gets, up to an including an infant. 

During one such discussion late today, we posted this lovely pic:



Now we thoroughly believe that anyone may control his or her own Facebook page, by either deleting or banning. It's like someone coming into your living room, you have the right to ask them to leave. Still, if someone initiates a discussion on pregnancy resulting from rape, one expects him actually to allow conflicting opinions. Not in this case. Here was his reply:


So basically it's all right, in his opinion, to support a seven year old rape victim having to carry a child, but he just doesn't think looking at photos of it is appropriate. Okay, got it.

The posters in this same topic couldn't decide if life began at fertilization or conception. We're sure the Alabama Legislature will take that matter up shortly...


Moral: Let's All Play God - We're Sure He's Pleased With Us

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Living DaVita Evil

May 15, 2019, 9:00 pm
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The past few days have been contentious ones for the citizens of Alabama. No matter how you feel about the anti-abortion bill ostensibly set to go into effect in six months, we hope you have at least some sympathy for young girls raped by their fathers. Barring that, we hope you at least don't make fun of them. Apparently some sick individuals have no such scruples.

Earlier today we were sent some screenshots of posts made by a local dialysis employee. The young man, who at least claims some sort of position of importance in the medical company, ridiculed a Florence man and his mother who had assisted such a rape victim many years ago. After we received this, we went to Dialysis Dick's profile where we found innocuous family pics mixed with party shots taken with a large stuffed brown bear dressed in a mini-skirt. Nothing like posing with dead innocent animals to say you're perfect to work with patients dying of kidney failure, right?

We don't know anyone currently receiving dialysis; however, if we should ever need it, we will choose to find a company which employs those with a heart...not a kick 'em while they're down and laugh at 'em attitude toward impoverished teenage rape victims and their families.


How to Tell a Ft. Worth Native?
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Uncle Zar Says Let's Ditch Melson...

May 16, 2019, 9:00 pm
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We've recently seen and received some very pithy comments on current issues. Here's one we saw in the TimesDaily on plans for Inspiration Landing:

...talking about how much in fees to tack on to concert tickets to an imaginary amphitheater before you've even gotten the first bid to build the first road is like me ruminating on where I'm going to take Jennifer Lawrence on our 20th wedding anniversary.

We'll touch briefly on two comments we've seen concerning the new anti-abortion law. First, a male Facebook poster stated that he knew how it was to be pregnant. We can hardly wait to commiserate with him after his prostate surgery, since we know exactly how it feels and all.

Second, we saw a comment from a Baptist minister who was encouraging his congregation to prepare to offer FOSTER care to any unwanted infants until institutional homes could be built for them. Big of him, wasn't it? In case you didn't grasp the criticism of that comment, it's not about life itself, but how this minister won't suggest his congregation actually make these infants real family, but just offer them temporary shelter until an orphanage can be built. 


Sorry, Oliver. The Baptist Man Says Bastards Aren't Good Enough to be His "Real Son"

Now a word from one of our favorites, Uncle Zar:


Ms. Shoalanda,

Strange weather we've been having wouldn't you say? I hope all is well with you.

I just wanted to write and tell you how troubled I am at this moment.

I've lived in Lauderdale County my whole life. I have seen many sad stories unfold over my life: 

Stories about rape, incest, genital mutilation, and much more. 

It was all heartbreaking and life shattering.  

I have a strong dislike (of) abortion, but not including exceptions for rape and incest was just flat out wrong. 

Even the 700 Club's Pat Robertson said the Alabama bill went too far on his television show. 

Senator Stutts and Senator Melson, what if it happened to one of your daughters? God forbid, but what if she was raped by a family member and became pregnant? Would you still feel the same?

Please don't tell me you think that only bad things happen to bad people? 

No such thing in this world as an innocent victim??? 

Politicians simply passing laws cannot make America a perfect place in the eyes of God.  

Senator Tim Melson please step down from the Lauderdale County Ag Authority Board. 

I am NOT suggesting construction of the ag center be halted. 

I am NOT suggesting Senator Melson resign from his elected position in Montgomery.

I am ONLY suggesting that Melson STEP DOWN from the Lauderdale County Ag Authority Board, and from all positions.

If the ag center can not be built without Tim Melson it should not be built at all.

Continuing in the spirit of fairness may I suggest that Melson be replaced by Greer? Applications should then be sought to fill the vacant board seat.

If Tim Melson refuses to step down from the Lauderdale County Ag Authority Board a petition will be circulated seeking his removal by an order of the court.

Thanks again!

Uncle Z
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Fred's? It's a Dollar General World/A Poll

May 17, 2019, 9:00 pm
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By now you've read that there will be a second round of Fred's closings starting June 1st. The Rogersville location will remain open...for now. One press release hinted at a third round of stores to feel the axe if Fred's downward financial spiral continues.

Then we have the previously announced Family Dollar closings and revampings (Hello, Dollar Tree!). Yet for every ten Dollar General stores that close, 40 open. Are we seeing a trend here. There's nothing wrong with either DG or DT; we shop both retail outlets frequently. We simply feel it's sad when shopping at Walmart becomes upscale. Someone should tell the customers to dress appropriately.


It has been eons since we had a poll. We're initiating one today, albeit as a kind of trivia question. Over the past two days we've seen some odd statements about life (not to mention souls). So who knows what the Bible says about the beginning of life? 

We're no experts here at Shoalanda, but we can find only one verse in the entire Bible that deals with the necessary ingredient to qualify as life. So look to the left sidebar and see if you can answer correctly. There's no prize for those who get the right answer, but we're eager to see how many do.

St. George Wants His Flag Back

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News of Target for the Shoals? Yes & No...

May 18, 2019, 9:00 pm
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It was not long ago that we received word of a possible Target store to be located on Wilson Dam Road in Muscle Shoals. Since that time, we've received many inquiries as to new information. Do we have any? Here's what we know:

1. If there are negotiations, they're strictly hush-hush. We'll update immediately if we learn anything definite. Even if this is totally true, don't expect any real news until 2021.

2. While it's not what the community is wanting, this may be better than nothing for Muscle Shoals. Target has been utilizing holiday pop-up stores in large to semi-large markets. We've been told that one such pop-up will be coming to Huntsville, perhaps lasting two weeks and offering fantastic merchandise not readily available at any other Alabama Target stores. Could the City of Muscle Shoals convince Target to give one a try in that town? We would consider it a long-shot, but one worth looking into. Are you listening, city officials, or are you much more interested in protecting a status quo with the board of education?

3. Here's something that's pretty definite: Drive Up is coming to Florence - we just don't know when. When it finally arrives, just use the Target app to place your order, then tap the in place icon when you arrive at the designated parking area. Target promises that your order will be delivered to your vehicle within two minutes. No tipping allowed, but thank you's appreciated. 

We've long wondered why Target didn't have a drive-thru window for its pharmacy. As we understand it, most prescription drugs can be taken to the pick up area in the same manner a loaf of bread can. This may not be as good as a new store in Muscle Shoals, but it will be a step in expediting Shoals shopping. If brick and mortar stores want to compete for our dollars, they should take note of what customers want...


One Tidbit of Gossip That We Can Confirm Is That Our Canine-American Blogger Prince Has a Crush on Bullseye, the Target Dog. Well, Who Doesn't?

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Which Belief Do Southern Baptists Hold?

May 19, 2019, 9:00 pm
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The past few days have been filled with rhetoric concerning our newest state law on induced abortion. We've seen some odd beliefs and some outright lies on the subject. Baptists make up over half of the religious minded in this state - an exact figure is hard to pin down. See previous statement. So do they support the new law that isn't a law, but an experiment in attention getting? It's hard to say.

From a recent AL.com article:

The Southern Baptist Convention holds its next annual meeting in Birmingham, June 11-12, at Legacy Arena, and will likely support Alabama’s anti-abortion law, if it follows the pattern of the past three decades of social statements. There are more than a million Southern Baptists in Alabama, which has a population of about five million.

From a Southern Baptist Statement of Faith: 

Be it further RESOLVED, That we call upon Southern Baptists to work for legislation that will allow the possibility of abortion under such conditions as rape, incest, clear evidence of severe fetal deformity, and carefully ascertained evidence of the likelihood of damage to the emotional, mental, and physical health of the mother.
Which statement is correct? How can Southern Baptists support Alabama's proposed new law and still maintain its previous resolution? Comments welcome.

Apparently It's Not Pleasant at Mt. Pleasant
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Rep. Danny Crawford Really Gets Around

May 20, 2019, 9:00 pm
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It hasn't been that long since the state representative from Limestone County Danny Crawford was embroiled in a controversy over the huge contributions he accepted from ALFA. Now he's in the news again - this time for the large contribution he's accepted from the Poarch Creek Indian tribe.

In case you haven't been keeping up, our state may be getting to vote soon on a lottery, but it won't be one that benefits education. Whom will it benefit? The Poarches, and Danny Crawford is one of the men/women about to make it happen. The final vote is tomorrow.

The casino giants provided Crawford one of the larger donations given to House members - $7,500.00. So how will he vote tomorrow? This is going to be good...


Danny Crawford & His Wife Pictured in the House ALFA and the Poarch Creek Indians Helped Them Build. Let's Help Defeat the Mammon-Loving Crawford in the Next Election!

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Ethics Complaint Against Danny Crawford?

May 21, 2019, 9:00 pm
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There's probably few things more disturbing for a parent than to realize he or she will someday leave a disabled child to fend for himself in today's society. Despite state programs, the mentally and physically disabled are not treated well in Alabama. How far would you go to see that this never happened to your child? 

Rep. Danny Crawford of Athens has recently been in the news, and not for any good reasons. He's been called a pawn of both ALFA and the Poarch Creek Indians. He's also the father of a severely disabled son with no siblings. In other words, if Crawford's child should live for years after the demise of his parents, he's going to need round the clock care that may no longer be available to him. 

During the last election cycle, Crawford took in over $110,000.00 in campaign contributions and spent less than $1,400.00 in his effort to win re-election. Perhaps Danny Boy was sure that the "R" after his name on the ballot was all he needed. Or perhaps Crawford wanted to leave as much cash as possible in his campaign fund to transfer legally to other endeavors. One political science expert has told us that when Crawford or any other elected official retires, he can legally donate unused campaign funds to the party, which can then hire the former office holder as a consultant by paying him/her most or even all of the donated funds. Nice little scam, isn't it?

Is this what Crawford plans to do when he retires? At least one group thinks that Danny Crawford has already stepped over the line and has indicated possible ethics complaints are in the works. Unfortunately ethics complaints fail to accomplish a great deal in most cases. Isn't it time Limestone County got rid of Crawford before any more damage is done?



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Hunting Polar Bears Now a Crime in Alabama

May 22, 2019, 5:00 pm
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Earlier today, Gov. Kay Ivey signed into law a bill passed unanimously by the state legislature which makes hunting polar bears in the state a Class A Felony...


First, the above is satire. Second, we shamelessly stole this from a comment on a state news site. The point is that Alabama legislators are simply terrific at passing laws which affect absolutely no one, while relegating needed legislation to a dead-end committee. 

What actually happened earlier today was that the House passed a bill requiring physicians to assist a fetus born alive after an attempted abortion. Why is this not a good thing?

First, under current law, no abortions can be done after 20 weeks gestation. A fetus is unable to survive on its own before 21 weeks gestation. Ginny Shaver, a Republican legislator from Leesburg says she's done post-abortion counseling in this state and has heard of it happening, but won't give specifics since it involves confidential information. Directors of the three abortion clinics now open in this state have said it just doesn't happen. The bill will now go to the senate where it may or may not pass.

That's our wonderful Alabama Legislature - passing bills to criminalize behavior that never happens. We're sure everyone rests easier tonight knowing that any pre-20 week fetus who should miraculously survive induced abortion, not to mention plastic shopping bags, have the support of our well-paid legislators. 

Meanwhile, ALFA is continuing on its merry way screwing not just the lower species of this state, but paying customers as well, and Danny Crawford and his ilk are pulling in hundreds of thousands from this and other special interests while we actually work for a living. Sound about right to you?


Drop Your ALFA Insurance to Send a Message That You're Tired of Tyranny...and Danny Crawford

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Let's Send Looney Mooney Packing

May 23, 2019, 5:00 pm
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Few people outside the Birmingham metro area had ever heard of Arnold Mooney until he recently announced his candidacy for the U.S. Senate. Running as a Republican, state representative Mooney form Mt. Brook will compete for the nomination against Bradley Byrne and Tommy Tuberville. If the primary were held today, our vote would go to Mr. Tuberville. Byrne would be a remote second, and Mooney...well, let's not violate our own language policy here.

It shouldn't be difficult to understand that representatives to our state legislature are elected to represent...and legislate. We don't live in the Mr. Brook area, but are still pretty sure that the citizens of that community want someone to look after their interests, not his own, while serving Montgomery.

Three weeks after Rep. John Rogers made his ill-chosen remarks about induced abortion, Looney finally had a chance while debating another bill to make his move. He began to read a letter chastising Rogers. House Speaker Mac McCutcheon quickly cut Looney Mooney off, but not before the public had seen Mooney's true character. After all, why should Mooney have even an inkling that he was there to work for the citizens of Shelby County and not to glorify himself?

Rep. Mooney has promised to "keep continuing" if he should be sent to Washington. Let's hand him a grammar text and let him "keep continuing" at his family home in Mt. Brook, shall we?


Looking for Someone to Follow in the Footsteps of Roy Moore? I'm Your Man! I Promise Never to Insert a Foot in my Mouth when I Can Insert Both Feet...
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Just How Worthless Is Rob Carnegie?

May 24, 2019, 9:00 pm
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Nigel Knorr has an idea:

Have you seen the latest figures on how well tourism is doing for the State of Alabama Well, in case you have not, Colbert County tourism is up a whopping 15% over last year's numbers. 

Lauderdale County didn't fare as well with only a lousy 2% increase over last year and may I remind you all that Lauderdale County was only up 1% last year. So if my math is correct, Lauderdale County has only increased tourism dollars collected by 3% in over 2 years. 

However, Canada Rob got a HUGE 20% raise last year. He now makes almost as much money as the state tourism director and way much more than most of the CVB and Tourism Directors all over the entire state.

Florence and Lauderdale County should demand better than what they are getting. When Debbie Wilson was at the helm, the lowest increase the Florence Lauderdale Tourism board ever experienced was 8%. Perhaps this is exactly what's happening in Colbert County. 

Debbie Wilson left Florence Lauderdale Tourism back when they had a terrible and very ignorant board of directors to pursue other avenues. She then went to work for the State of Alabama Tourism department and now has settled in as the Director of Muscle Shoals Sound Music Studio aka 3614 Jackson Highway and BOOM, tourism is on the increase now at Colbert County tourism. Wake up Florence City Council and the Lauderdale County Commission. 

Act now before hotels start closing and the fish stop biting.



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What Happened to the Sheffield High Graduating Class of 2019?

May 25, 2019, 9:00 pm
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Graduating rates have a large number of asterisks after them. The small print will tell you that the exact group isn't followed for four/five years or that the algorithm has changed from previous years or any other number of things. In other words, a graduation rate may be listed as 90% when it's actually 92%. That's not the end of the world. What if the graduation rate was closer to 50%; would you be concerned?

In the fall of 2013, over 100 students entered the 7th grade in Sheffield City Schools. When the Class of 2019 marched earlier this week, only 54 received their sheepskins. Let's be kind and say that Sheffield has a graduation rate of 55%. How do residents of Sheffield feel about this?

Why hasn't anyone stood up and shouted, "What's the problem here?" Why aren't parents attending school board meetings? Do you think this could happen in Florence? How about Muscle Shoals?

Wake up Sheffield. You have problems that even Inspiration Landing can't fix. 



I'm Practicing Being Passed Out...

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